The #1 question I get when people open up about their faith struggles.
I’ve asked friends, family, and my followers on social media the same thing: What’s the toughest question you have about God?
Hands down, this one keeps coming up: If God is so great, why does He allow bad things to happen?
It’s right up there with “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and honestly, most of us have whispered it in the middle of the night when life feels unfair.
Here’s the thing — the answer is a lot simpler than we want to admit. We just don’t like it.
We Picture a God Who Should Fix Everything
Most of us imagine an all-knowing, all-powerful God who’s supposed to step in and stop every bad thing before it happens. Like a cosmic helicopter parent hovering over our lives 24/7.
But that’s not how it works.
Let me give you a better picture.
Why does Dave Ramsey let people get into crushing debt when he’s a billionaire who knows exactly how to get out of it?
Sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, right? Dave Ramsey isn’t causing the debt. He’s not forcing people to swipe the credit card or ignore the budget. He’s out there screaming from every stage and podcast that you don’t have to live that way… but he’s not going to come tie your hands and stop you from making the dumb choice.
God isn’t sitting up there causing the pain. He’s not the author of the cancer diagnosis, the job loss, the broken relationship, or the tragedy that blindsides you.
He just refuses to override the one thing He gave us that makes us truly human.
Free Will Isn’t Free… But It’s Real
My dad got sick years ago. I’ll never forget the conversation we had when he looked me in the eye and said he was okay with leaving this earth.
He told me, “As a dad, I only have one real goal — to teach you to survive without me.”
I got almost 20 more years with him after that talk, but those words stuck with me like nothing else.
That’s exactly what God is doing with us.
He’s not trying to micromanage every second of your life. He’s raising sons and daughters who can stand on their own two feet, make choices, learn from mistakes, and grow into the people He created us to be.
Can He step in? Absolutely. Does He have to? No.
And that’s where free will comes in. We get to choose. Even when our choices are terrible. Even when they hurt other people. Even when they hurt us.
The Boat and the Two Islands (A Story That Hits Different)
Let me paint a picture my mom would’ve loved.
You and I are in a boat that starts sinking in the middle of the ocean. We see two islands in the distance.
I swim toward one. You swim toward the other.
I get to my island… and it’s full of cannibals. Game over.
You make it to an island full of Christians who pull you out of the water, dry you off, feed you, clothe you, and get you safely to your destination.
Did God save you? Yes. He absolutely did.
Did He forget about me? Not for a second.
My free will made me pick the wrong island.
Now, we could sit here all day and ask, “Well why didn’t those Christians get in a boat and go tell the cannibals about Jesus?” That’s a whole different conversation. But the point is this:
Sometimes the “bad thing” isn’t mysterious at all.
My mom used to say, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.” She was right a lot of the time… but sometimes it’s not mysterious. Sometimes it’s just the natural consequence of the choices we (or other people) made.
God Doesn’t Do the Bad Things — But He Gave Us Each Other
Here’s the part that brings me peace:
God didn’t leave us here alone.
He put an entire network of people around us — family, friends, church, even strangers who show up at the right moment — to help us survive, to speak truth, to love us back to life when we make the wrong turn.
The bad things? A lot of them we bring on ourselves. Some of them are brought on us by other people. And some of them are just the brokenness of a world that’s not yet fully redeemed.
But God isn’t the villain in any of those stories.
He’s the Father who’s teaching us to walk. Sometimes that means letting us fall down, scrape our knees, and learn how to get back up.
So What Now?
If you’re in the middle of something hard right now, I’m not going to give you some fluffy “everything happens for a reason” bumper sticker answer.
I’m going to tell you what I’ve learned the hard way:
Own your choices. Learn from them. Lean into the people God put around you. And trust that the same God who could fix everything in a heartbeat is choosing instead to build something stronger in you.
He’s not distant. He’s not cruel.
He’s a good Father… who wants you to become a strong son or daughter.
What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever wrestled with about God?
Drop it in the comments. I read every single one.
And if this hit home, share it with someone who needs to hear it.
Follow me on X @RealDrewTolbert — I’m in the trenches with you every day.
Keep walking, friend. God’s still in the boat… even when we’re the ones who jumped out.